:: VwlssBlg V1.1 ::

:: 11/23/2004 ::

The proper way to put out a fire on your head, using a cat.

:: VwlssWndr 22:28 [+] ::
...

This link is getting a lot of hits, so use this mirror instead.


:: VwlssWndr 21:14 [+] ::
...

Being that I was born in the mid-70's (1974, to be exact), I have a lot of "cool stuff" from the late 70's-early 80's that a lot of people have likely forgotten about. One of the things that amuses me to no end is a particular "Underdog" collector glass, which I believe was originally some promotional thing from Burger Chef.

The glass isn't Underdog himself (though we have that one as well) -- it's the likeness of evil scientist Simon Bar Sinister.



The reason this amuses me is that, a year or two ago, I realized Simon Bar Sinister strongly resembles Mr. Jack Valenti.



Curse you, Underdog, and your support of videocassette media!


:: VwlssWndr 22:22 [+] ::
...

This is terribly funny.

If you do an "All Products" search on Amazon for "John Waters," one of the products about half-way down is the "Vibrating Finger Massager."


:: VwlssWndr 17:06 [+] ::
...

I just got my Star Wars Trilogy DVD's from Amazon today. For the past few weeks, I'd been hearing all sorts of horror stories about what changes Lucas had made. I'd even seen what is sure to become an infamous interview with Lucas that essentially amounted to "I don't care what the fans think, it's my movie and I want it to be my way."

So, after much storm und drang over these three plastic discs, I've finished watching Star Wars. I also checked out some of the chapters on the other two discs.

If you, like me, had heard the horror stories and this has kept you from purchasing the discs, then let me be the first to reassure you: it's not nearly as bad as what we had been led to believe. If you still don't believe me, rent them and see for yourself. (Actually, that's the best possible solution, since you still may agree that the changes were too drastic.)

So, here's what's different...and also, which of the rumored changes (that I can recall) are completely false, from as near as I can tell.

Begin Spoilers

Star Wars

The shot where R2-D2 appears to "walk" by wobbling back and forth has not been changed: it's the same shot we've seen since 1977.

The lightsaber given to Luke is now blue instead of yellow. All of the sabers look a lot better.

Stormtrooper voices, as far as I can tell, are the same that they've been for 27 years.

The Duros are still in the cantina. There are no Nemoidians.

Greedo and Han now shoot at the same time. Still pretty hokey, but I've honestly never understood why everyone got so worked up about it anyway: it's one shot in a two hour movie.

The CGI sequence of Jabba the Hutt added in 1997 is at least three times better. Jabba actually looks like Jabba now, as opposed to an overgrown slug.

The one change I was really pulling for -- Chewie getting a medal in the final ceremony -- was apparently false. Alas, the poor, unappreciated Wookiee.

ESB and ROTJ

I haven't completely watched the other two, so I can't comment on them fully: however, here are things I did look for.

Boba Fett now speaks with the voice of Temeura Morrison (sp?).

Ian McDiarmid is indeed the emperor when Vader speaks to him in ESB, instead of that other guy.

There's a shot of celebration on Naboo after the destruction of the Deat Star. There are Gungans if you look for them. I didn't hear any of them speak. If you (like most sane people) hate Jar Jar Binks, fear not: the Gungan presence is innocuous. There are also no shots of a flightless Watto on Tatooine, unless it's some "Where's Watto?" type of deal. (Just look for the red-striped cap!)

Hayden Christensen is now the ghost of Anakin.

I have to say that the changes really aren't that bad, as far as I'm concerned. I actually have to wonder if Lucas encouraged rampant rumor-mongering about a myriad of extensive changes so that the actual changes would be met with less hostility.

:: VwlssWndr 21:35 [+] ::
...

Thanks to Toys 'R' Us, I've made a fascinating discovery: people crack jokes about how much John Kerry looks like Lurch or Herman Munster. Really, these people need to realize that he's actually General Rieekan from The Empire Strikes Back.



"I helped evacuate Echo Base and saved countless Rebels from a frozen grave on Hoth! What were you doing? Scraping mynock shit off of TIE fighter wings on Coruscant?"

All that we really need is to hear Kerry make the comment during the debates that "A death mark is a hard thing to live with."


:: VwlssWndr 15:55 [+] ::
...

I think it's now officially "too late" to enter the LaPlaca, so I feel I can safely reveal my #1 pick for this season:

"Joey."

I really can't imagine anything so effectively setting itself up for such a tremendous failure. I suppose I could be wrong: Joey could go for ten seasons. I just don't see that happening, though, for several reasons.

1) I don't get a chance to watch much TV these days. However, I've been nearly assaulted with ads for "Joey" at the movie theater! They have posters hanging from the ceiling! They have promos between the ads for minivans and Goobers (tm)! Thanks to this hype, I've seen Matt LeBlanc's mug in the movie theater more in the past month than I'd ever seen it "legitimately" at the theater (in a feature film, that is). It seems to indicate to me that NBC just really doesn't have much faith in this show being a huge success.

2) I sat through the promo at the theater. It looks ghastly. When something that's supposed to lure you in looks bad, something is wrong.

3) In conjunction with this series, I've seen a slogan that says, if I remember correctly, "Same show, different city." Fantastic! What does this slogan accomplish? For people who watched "Friends," they're likely going to miss the rest of the ensemble cast. (Yes, there were probably people who even tuned in to see Matthew Perry!) For people who never liked "Friends" to begin with...well, why would they bother with "Joey" if it's the same show anyway? I guess this is a really roundabout way of saying that it seems to me like "Joey" is going to have a very hard time finding an audience.

I still stand by my initial assessment from a year or two ago: Matt LeBlanc probably has the most promising career post-"Friends." But in regards to "Joey," I'm less convinced to associate it with "Friends," and more likely to associate it with another word beginning with "F-R."

Also, I had a moment of inspiration today: a heartwarming feature film about the trials and travails that would ultimately lead to ABBA's triumph at the Eurovision Song Contest. It would be called The Bjorn Supremacy.

:: VwlssWndr 22:25 [+] ::
...